Thursday, February 08, 2007

Hosed by the Google Dance

Grumble grumble grumble.

As of about a month ago, if you did a Google search for "Orthodox Jewish Father," this site would come up as your first hit. Not least because whenever I commented elsewhere, I would put in a Google Wangle, where the comment would end as follows:
{insightful, pithy comment}
Google Wangle: Orthodox Jewish Father
The link, obviously, would be to this blog right here.

Well... it seems that Google has tweaked its algorithm to down-weight the link text itself. It's an attempt, apparently to defeat the Google Bomb pranks. See articles here and here. (The second link is a NYT article, so you might have to register or something; think BMN.)

In the NYTimes article, the originator of the Bush/Miserable-Failure Google bomb implies some nefarious shenanigans in the tweak. I don't know if it's so, but if it is, could someone tell Google that I was bombing myself, and if they could put mine back, at least, that'd be cool.


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Thursday, August 18, 2005

I was going to be clever, but it turns out... no.

Blah blah blah Torah. Yaakov avinu (our father) and favoring one sibling over another and sibling rivalry and fairness. Blah blah blah deep Torah about joy and sorrow and mourning the destruction of the Temple and celebrating in times of happiness.

I haven’t been blogging for oh, the last nine months or so because every time I’d sit down and try to write about some profound Torah concept I’d picked up from my beautiful wonderful exquisite daughter Rachel I’d end up hitting the elephant-in-the-room thing that I wasn’t blogging about -- for reasons I’m also not blogging about. At least not right now.


Zugt mir a mazel tov!
(Yiddish: Tell me “mazal tov!”) (And I’m not even going to try to translate “mazal tov.”)

FrumBaby2 has landed. It’s a boy!

The bris is soon (IE"H), and I’ll give him a pseudonym shortly thereafter.

(IE"H = Im Ezras Hashem = With the help of Hashem.)

And then, hopefully, the elephant will leave the room and I can start writing again.

Love to all. Thanks for sticking with me through the dry spell.


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Monday, July 25, 2005

I know, I know...

Substantive post, no really, any minute now. really...

But right now, I have to say...

(Something Very Good Has Happened)

Something... Wonderful.

There's been a glitch, but I feel confident that it's only a minor one.

Mazal Tov.


UPDATE: I told you it was just a minor glitch.

PS: Welcome Visitors! I've had a serious uptick in hits, most coming from Danae's site. Sorry I don't have anything fresh for you, but Yes is a world should give you an idea of what I do here, or More than animals . And for those of you with less religious interests, I should probably point out FrumDad gets Political

Thanks for stopping by!

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Some Short Easy Pieces

1. "Ze ha-yom asah Ado-shem, nagila v'nismecha bo."

This is the day that Hashem has made, let us exult and be joyful in it. I don't think I even need to post the link, as I'm sure anyone could guess why I'm being all exultant and joyful. Others have quoted Proverbs 11: "at the death of the wicked, there is joyful song." That too.

Of course, this search is more appropriate, but comes up with less relevant results. And of course the whole saga can only remind one of... Oh, wait... THIS JUST IN!!Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!

Anyway, back to the celebratin'.

2. While we're on this topic...

Who climbs on top of a respected leader's coffin?

Animals. That's who.

3. Check it out (part 1)

Check it out! I got some press and I didn't even know it. Neat-o keen.

4. Check it out (part 2)

A mention on Protocols. And I didn't even have to say anything snarky about Luke Ford.

Of course, he didn't hook me up with a link or mention of the Political FrumDad post, so far as I can tell. So maybe I'll have to go back to snarkiness.

5. Mail Recovery Center (a/k/a - The Dead Letter Department).

The original Mail Recovery Center was called the Dead Letter Department, established by Benjamin Franklin in the 1770’s... but I only mention it because, well, you'll see.

HEATHER!!! (Got your attention, ka?) Heather who gave me the Matt Groening book and whose last initial used to be among the first ten letters of the alphabet and whose last initial could possibly be in the second ten letters of the alphabet now. (I don't know if you're hyphenating, or didn't change your name, or what.)

Either way. Back in August, you sent me an email in response to my Totally Busted post.

I've been meaning to get back to you, really. But I kind of lost that email, and with it your email address. I could probably Google you, but this way seems so much more fun.

Email me again. Please? I'll put you right in my contacts list and in my Palm pilot. Thanks.

Have a good weekend, everybody.


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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I'm Ba-ack!

No, I didn't trip and fall off the continent. No I haven't given up on this blog. In fact, my problem's the opposite; I have this off-topic political post I want to write, and every time I start drafting it I get so wound up I end up making no sense. Even thinking about it now, I'm getting all... grrrrr...

Anyway. I'll probably do an interim post because Rachel's been so awesome and excellent in the past few weeks and she's got me thinking about the nature of laughter and some other Torah subjects. That kind of stuff is, after all, what my few (but dedicated) readers keep coming back for.

That and when I bash Luke Ford over at Protocols. But I only do that for the traffic spike.

So, I'm back, and I'm checking in. Sorry for the absence.

While I'm at it, though, I'm going to plug:

The subject this month is adaptation. I'm not a hundred percent sure that this is on-point, but I'm going to submit my previous The Biggest Lesson post for this one.


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Sunday, August 22, 2004

Totally Busted.

blah blah blah... "real content" coming soon, blah blah blah.
And now, the news.

As of checking my email today, something has happened that I knew would happen, but by which I am still pleasantly surprised.

I have been totally found out. Viz, this email send to my FrumDad account:


Good to hear your voice, albeit in
blog form-your "DoubleThink and Prayer"
was thought provoking. I hope that
you, [HW'S REAL NAME] and
[RACHEL's REAL NAME] are doing well.

Busted by whom, you might ask?

By one of my favorite people in the entire world, one of the most wonderful women I've ever had the privilege to know. I'll call her MHFS[fn1], but I won't use her name, or link to her graphic design studio (per Google) unless she tells me it's okay.
[fn1:] My Holy Friend S. I was just going to call her "S," but in light of the post immediately preceeding (or following, what's the protocol there?) this one, I thought I'd go with the honorific acronym.
I've said in other posts that "anyone who reads [this blog] and knows me will [figure it out] it in about five seconds."

I don't know how long it took S, but it looks like she dunnit!

Why am I so happy about this? I don't know. I just think it's nice that (a) my 'voice' is sufficiently unique that (combined with any facts I allude to) it's enough to identify me, and (b) my friends can spot me in a crowd.


And, a special note to S and anyone else who figures this out... you can also email me at [my first name]@[my last name].com

See pictures of the baby at (Do a last name search.)

A special note to everyone else: Yeah, it's a tease. It's like a puzzle. Here's another hint: Mike Royal for President! (and not the Young Republican Google turns up.)

[Update 8/8/2005]
Apparently, the underlying theme around here is "the women I've loved," as it seems that this blog somehow attracts them in their casual surfing. MHFS came by and shot me an email, as noted. And somewhere else around here I mentioned that the wonderful H pulled a similar stunt. And now, about ten days ago, I received a short and wonderful missive from... well, I'll call her S (just to bother her -- she was never particularly fond of her middle name). About S, I cannot conjure the sufficiently wistful, significant, joyful, earth-shaking, heart-shattering description. Let it suffice to say that in the mix of what little I know about love, there is a fair measure that I know because of her, and a touch that I know despite her.

Happy Birthday, S. I know; I owe you a letter. Yours is right here on my desk; I've got nine days 'till it's a whole year old. (I won't make the deadline, btw. See forthcoming actual post.)


Friday, August 20, 2004

A name change for "G!"

As I type right now I can't find the full thread of posts[fn1] back and forth over a number of different blogs, but there's been some talk recently on other blogs about the manner in which bloggers -- especially male, anonymous bloggers -- refer to their wives.
[fn1:] The first time Google's ever let me down, search-wise that is. I ended up finding the Heimishtown link noted below on Yahoo! Search of all places. At least it wasn't MSN.
I remember it started with this post by Cookie at Heimishtown, and then travelled around a bit, generally under the radar of other things going on.

When I first started this blog, way back in my first post, I decided to give my wife a one-letter pseudonym, "G".[fn2] But, to my own credit, I did refer to her in that same post, and still think of her as, "My Holy Wife."
[fn2:] In the interests of disclosure, I should point out that I went in today and edited that post to include the "name" tags that allow me to jump-link to specific words. I wanted to use the Google cached versions (with the highlighting), but Google wasn't (apparently) crawling me back then.
After some thought, I've decided it's worth the awkwardness of this post to "officially" change her name here.

So, henceforth, "G." is no more. Future references to her will be as MHW, MBHW (My Beautiful Holy Wife), MWHW (My Wonderful Holy Wife), or MWBHW (figure it out). The initial "M" may be replaced by "the," as in: "And then, I heard the voice of the HW in my head, saying, 'stop yapping FD, they get the point.'"


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Monday, August 16, 2004

Move it along, nothing to see here.

Hey, you.

Mr., who came by on August 15 at about 10pm.

Mr. Google search for "frum girls naked."

Move along, buddy. That's not what we're selling here.


PS: For the record, the Google search picked up this post. I can see how the Google excerpt was a little misleading, if you're hunched over your computer, in a crazed and desparate search for Orthodox Jewish pr0n.

... FRUM ('fr&m) adj : conforming to established Jewish doctrine; Orthodox ... where am I going to learn about girls? ... if she's in her underwear, or naked, or whatever. ...


Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Two Dollars! I want my two dollars!

New Content! I want my new content!

Where is it? (Work x Busy^Very) + (Family issues) = One of the worst weeks ever.
But with Tisha B'Av past, and the countdown to Elul... Hopefully this week.


Someone pointed out to me that I wasn't being very fair to myself. I haven't put up a new post recently, but I've been a commenting fiend this past week or so. Probably the most interesting is this post over at The Lazer Beam. The comments are blog-like in their chronology, so to get the real feel of it, you have to start at the bottom.

I want to respond once or twice more and wind that discussion down. I come off sounding like a religious fanatic, which I guess I am, but it reads as somewhat intolerant, which I don't think is a fair reflection of the truth. Let me say for the record that I've known a number of people who claim to be atheists who are fine upstanding folk.

On the other hand, why does that sound so much like, "Some of my best friends are ______."


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Friday, July 30, 2004

Results of the Experiment: Jackpot!


Apparently it's not enough to include subtle digs at Protocols as a whole. I need to be irritated by something peculiar to Luke Ford himself. Which isn't tough.

I realize that blogging about Luke just feeds into his madness. So I'll stop now.



Wednesday, July 28, 2004

It's not just kids that are looking for attention.

This is more in the way of an experiment than anything else.

Apparently my mention of Luke Ford here (which was, in turn, a reponse to this) was enough to get me mentioned on the consistently trafficked (though only rarely worthwhile) Protocols blog. I'm curious if this post will get picked up over there as well.

I was on Car Talk once. My friends and I joked that it was going to come out of my fifteen minutes, but since it was Public Radio there'd be a discount multiplier, since NPR only counts as maybe 25% famous.

I wonder if there's a similar multiplier with respect to blogs.


See, this ridiculousness is the kind of thing that made me not want to be associated with Luke Ford in the first place, even if we did happen to come down on the same side of a debate.

Mr. Ford calls it an exchange of contentious email, but the only contentious emails come from Ford himself; Teresa Watanabe's emails seem consistently civil, if a little annoyed.

I'm trying very hard to keep this blog narrowly focused, but there's a part of me that's sorely tempted to sound off on various issues, including politics, non-parenting Jewish issues, and general blogsphere issues, and once in a while (like right now) I will allow myself a small indulgence.


Monday, July 19, 2004

Welcome Protocols readers

I don't really get the joke in this post by Luke Ford over at Protocols, though I am a bit concerned about Luke Ford's interest in my body.
But it's bringing some eyeballs, so maybe there's an upside.
Welcome.  This blog is primarily about how being an Orthodox Jew informs my being a parent, and how being a parent informs my Orthodoxy.  My
most recent substantive post is a look at the connection between Torah and breastmilk.
I try to post something substantive every 10 days or so.  I don't always keep to that schedule, and usually get traffic spikes in the slow bits. (See
here and here.)
In his link here, LF calls me Frum "Don't Associate Me With Luke Ford In Any Way" Dad.  I don't feel a need to explain fully here, but for the curious it stems from a series of comments surrounding the minor controversy between Stephen Weiss at the now-defunct
Fiddish and Chayyei Sarah at her epo- and pseudo- nymous blog.
Substantive content coming soon, we hope.
That is all.


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Blog-to-blog the Other Way.


This is the third or fourth time I've been linked to in the main text of someone else's blog, and each time I've been humbled and appreciative, not least to be considered even in small measure a compatriot of these fine people who think and express themselves so clearly and exquisitely.

This time is no exception.


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Thursday, July 08, 2004

Missin' the loooove.

Hello!?!?!? How about a little love from the folks over at
Jewish Week?

Okay, so I come up #128 on the Google search for [orthodox jewish blog].

But I come in ahead of Shmuley, even!!!

Of course, he wasn't in the article either. So maybe that's not such a good point.

I also come in ahead of AidelMaidel, who did get mentioned. But there's probably another search, like maybe "Jewish Blogs that People Actually Read."

Okay, I just did that search. AidelMaidel comes in soemwhere around 600, and I, erm... well... don't so much show up at all.

Well, let's fix that right now:

Jewish Blogs that People Actually Read!
Hey, If you're into Jewish Blogs and you, like, Actually Read them, and you're a People, you would be interested in reading THIS, which is a Jewish Blog that People Actually Read.

I know this has nothing to do with my daughter, or with how my Judaism informs my being a father...

Oh well.

[UPDATE] Seems the Google Dance has a sense of humor.  I now come in 168 on the "Orthodox Jewish Blog" search, lower than I was and way behind Shmuley and AidelMaidel.  Maybe if I look up "tying self-esteem to blog hits and google rank."  (Which I just did.  Can you believe there aren't more hits on that search!?)

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Friday, July 02, 2004

I will be soooo grumpy.

I'm getting a nice little traffic spike thanks to this very nice link from DaddyTypes. And of course, I spent this week actually (a) trying to make some money and (b) doofing around with the format instead of (c) putting up content.

Now, I've posted on the subject of my conflict over the traffic issue before. It's actually sort of settled down a bit: I write for me but I enjoy the traffic. And there is a certain community aspect to the blogsphere (silly word, that) and particularly my little chunk of it, overlapping as I hope it does the Fatherhood/Parenthood, Faith and Religion, and tacitly left-leaning neighborhoods that it does.

(As well as the poorly-edited-because-I-have-to-get-home-before-sundown neighborhood. I'll try to fix the preceeding paragraph along with the hundred other things that need fixing in the near future.)

So anyway, this has happened once before, and I gotta say I'm gonna be grumpy if it happens the same way again. I mean, given the relatively narrowband content I'm only going to get a very low stick percentage anyway, but I'd be bothered if I missed the opportunity to grow this space, even if just a little.

Hopefully, barring unforeseen circumstance, I'll have a substantive post up by Wednesday (or sooner). Any returning visitors will hae seen posts like this before; to all you new visitors, "Hello from [a] child[] of [the father of] FrumDad".

Okay, that last sentence was pretty lame too. I was just thinking of that movie from 1984 where the spaceman comes back supposedly quoting from the Golden Record on Voyager.

Okay. I'm clearly tangenting out of control here. Which means it must be time for Shabbos!!


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Thursday, July 01, 2004

Noodlin' and Doodlin' and like that

Just checking in. I'm working on a post or two, but I'm also noodling around with the formatting and stuff. Learning about this stuff on the fly brings me back to the heady days of my geeky youth.

[UPDATE] You can see I've made some changes. I know my side-bar's a mess; I just imported chunks of the old one whole cloth until I can figure out this "style" business. It seems pretty cool.

I accidentally ate the old comments, but I'm going to figure out how to put them back up, just so I can import them into the new comments, then get rid of them. So sorry to the commenters who've been lost. It's temporary (I hope).

I changed the "description" above, but I want to hold onto the old text, so here it is:
All of a sudden, I'm a father. . . and as is true of many of the best things in life, all of my preparation has left me entirely unprepared. This is a space for me to figure out What I'm learning, and what I'm teaching, and what I'm chosing to leave out. Here I can tie a string to my hopes and wants and thoughts and hold them up to the breeze and see if they're kites or stones, or (on their best days) balloons and birds. I know I love my daughter with heartbreaking completeness. Here is where I can try to understand what to do if that's not enough.

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for."


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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Grumbles and a BlogBirthday

Wow. So when I actually start trying to keep a regular posting schedule, it turns out I have a fair amount to say. Or at least maybe I’m just more aware of blogworthiness. In any event, as was the case last week, I’m totally swamped at work, but since I’ll be offline at least until Friday (and probably until Sunday or Monday) I wanted to make a few quick posts. This will be the administrivial one (which is easier to write). The more substantive ones. . . well, I'm tired of promising content and delivering meta, so it'll be up when it's up.

Grumble grumble grumble. Last week, I got linked from a site called TeamDandy. This produced a hit spike, which excited me and got me all happy. For like a minute, until I realized that I had a wet computer (don't ask) and a ton of work, and there wasn't going to be any substantive post forthcoming. So all those nice people went away.

Now, eventually I have to sit down and figure out what my relationship is going to be with the hit counter. I make a big deal of this being anonymous, except that anyone who reads it and knows me will glark [fn1] it in about five seconds. I make a big deal out of not publicizing this blog, except whenever I comment on the other blogs I visit, I make sure not only to link to it, but just to make sure Google gets what this blog is about (and stops confusing me with sites about David Frum), I GoogleWangle those comments with a tag like Orthodox Jewish Father. Clearly I'm conflicted.
[FN1:] I know that's not exactly how glark is used, but when I was looking up the link for a dictionary definition of grok (which I also realized wasn't what I meant) I followed links to the word and just really liked it.
But apparently my hits mean something to me, because when I realized that I had a traffic spike that I wasn't going to be able to follow-up with, I kept thinking, Wait! Come Back! There'll be good content soon! (Better link, with related sound file). When I come back from the holiday!!

Which brings me to my next point.

Which holiday? Why Shavuot, in fact! Look at my first post, ever!, footnote 6, for a reference to the very same holiday, just last year.

Which makes it almost exactly a year since I started this blog. A lunar year, anyway; I have a few days for the solar year to swing around. Though I'm not sure if I should count it, since I took that nine month break in the middle there. Happy Birthday to!

I know my BlogRoll is a mess, and I know the site could use some template work. I'll do it, honest. Just not right now. Look at the time stamp of this post and realize that I'm still at work, and you can figure the stress I'm feeling to get! out! now!

So that's what I'm going to do.

To those to whom this is appropriate: Have a good holiday.


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